AIN'T ABOUT LOVE
Over the next few weeks, I’m going to share some anecdotes and back stories into each song off of my debut album KAIROS. For those who have had the chance to see my live show, you may have already heard some of these stories. I hope that the insight into the creation of each song will add an additional dimension to your listening experience.
AIN’T ABOUT LOVE
Simply put, AIN’T ABOUT LOVE is my “alt-love” anthem. More specifically, it is my attempt at describing love as I best understand it thus far. While there are a small, handful of love songs that actually speak eloquently about love, many seem shallow and leave me quite disconnected. My song is an attempt to go beyond the cliché “love song” that talks about an "easy love" that is somehow found, rather than worked for.
I feel that love is two imperfect and broken people coming together to make something work that will never work during this lifetime. The idea of love is found in the commitment of continuing to try. It is also more about the complex, yet beautiful journey that is undertaken.
Love can be quite a mystery. Why is it that the more you love someone, the more you can feel the opposite emotion as well? And why is it that more often than not, we don't quite know that we are in love until we have lost it? From my experience, I can only conclude that it has something to do with the fact that when we allow someone into the depths of our soul, they can then hurt us quite deeply. This is what makes love so dangerous. The more you love someone, the more they can hurt you. And yes, they will. We are left vulnerable with our proverbial pants down. And yet even still, all of us continue to search for love, whether we admit it or not.
I would go as far to say that we are addicted to love. Memories (which I tend to write a lot about in my songs) powerfully continue to reverberate in our minds and our hearts. In the very midst of my most painful memories, I have also found my most treasured ones. This thought reminds me of one of the most poignant movies tackling the subject of love: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. In the film, Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey tackle the question of whether a mind free of the pain that results from love is filled with eternal sunshine. Take a moment to think about a memory from one of your attempts at loving another person and the pain that ensued. Would you erase this memory? I feel that most of us would not.
Ain’t About Love is about this notion that love isn’t easy; it is far from it. The beauty of love is not found when everything works out perfectly, but rather in the times you decide to selflessly continue to love another person even when things aren’t working the way you envisioned. Each and every one of us crave and desire to be loved. In the end, if we try to ignore love and think that we can live our lives without others and without love, then we are in a place even worse than those who are still desperately trying to find it.
Our longing for love is intrinsic. It exists in each and every one of us. Our souls demand it. Ain’t About Love is about the notion that we are designed to love and be loved. In living, we desire community, relationship, friendship, and acceptance. We were created to know love and to give love. After all, to love is to be fully human. Oddly, as we give this love away, it expands. This is also why we see “the most beautiful smiles on the most broken of people inside.”
In writing this song, I wanted to break the convention of many love songs by highlighting the commitment of effort over the “feel good” aspects. I also sat down to write out the script for the music video, which I took to my good friend, Dan, who helped bring the ideas into fruition in the form of a stop-motion masterpiece. As you watch the video below, you will see parallels in the interactions of the mice that show that they are indeed creatures of love with all the struggles and joys that come with the journey. Our hearts in the context of love, are much like metal being refined by fire. In the end, the imperfect cracks in the hearts do not ruin, but instead give a new sense of resiliency that leaves each heart stronger than it was found.
Official Music Video:
Support my Journey via a Purchase of AINT ABOUT LOVE: https://jaejinmusic.bandcamp.com/track/aint-about-love
Stream AINT ABOUT LOVE: https://open.spotify.com/track/67ERaN0zVb6iJyAwxfGWYT